Chaos
Chaos
written by: Vinita Singh
As time had passed, she couldn't forget the person she had lost. She had lost a soul, a love. An older confidante. Someone she had turned to everyday. Someone she had cared for everyday. Someone she had spoken to about everything and all her emotions.
Now she realized. She had emotions of chaos, Emotions of feelings, emotions, that made her live in chaos.
All her tears which fell after even two years, had become what she was bringing all her fire out. She started working to extremes, she found ways of living that made her forget what she had lost. In reality It didn't really make her forget what she had lost. She still wept like the rivers, but she started living. Although, she could see herself grow, she felt the loss of her confidante more. She could not share this with anyone. In reality, no one would understand or listen to her feelings. She was going through a dillema. She was fighting to reach the top. In reality she was living like a wanderer in chaos. Someone who went from one door to another. Now that she did find something to keep her busy, She saw the world as chaos. She noticed too many managers, too many workers to be hired. Too much to remember on the floor. Too many credit cards being used. Too many things falling on the floor to be picked up. Too many shirts and ties to be picked up.
As one day she was working, She heard them say, your fighting a battle. In reality she had chaos in her mind. If she felt she was having a tough life, she heard others stories that were in a bigger mess.
Here she was a lady who played many roles in chaos. She was a mother, a wife, a housewife, a daughter, a daughter in law, a sister-in-law, and a friend too others. In reality her role had become more chaotic because she worked, then came home than made dinner, Then she tought of giving her exam. She thought of teaching dance aerobics style, she thought of reading books with her friend, she thought of selling makeup, she thought of writing poetry and short stories. She thought of writing her novel.
In reality, she had started doing these things. In which she had no prior education, classes, certificates or teachings in. She started doing it for the love and passion. Only her mind had become chaos, She knew she could only be successful in one thing. But she wanted to somehow aim for all. One of her friends told her, that there are five things you can do.
She wanted to live this chaos, in fire with all her emotions. to forget what she had lost, her confidance, She wanted to bring out her passion with all her hidden emotions, which she showed to no one. She wanted to bring a smile on her face as she played all the roles of chaos. Even when she worked, she would work without taking breaks. Things were chaos, because, if she worked one job, she was told to do something else. She was sometimes, told do a small job.
In her mind, with all this chaos, she forgot what was important, to take time out for herself. To meditate, and concentrate on nothing but peace. She felt things were chaotic and she had no peace.
But she did it to forget all her emotions.
Vinita Singh
Nov. 21, 2009
Now she realized. She had emotions of chaos, Emotions of feelings, emotions, that made her live in chaos.
All her tears which fell after even two years, had become what she was bringing all her fire out. She started working to extremes, she found ways of living that made her forget what she had lost. In reality It didn't really make her forget what she had lost. She still wept like the rivers, but she started living. Although, she could see herself grow, she felt the loss of her confidante more. She could not share this with anyone. In reality, no one would understand or listen to her feelings. She was going through a dillema. She was fighting to reach the top. In reality she was living like a wanderer in chaos. Someone who went from one door to another. Now that she did find something to keep her busy, She saw the world as chaos. She noticed too many managers, too many workers to be hired. Too much to remember on the floor. Too many credit cards being used. Too many things falling on the floor to be picked up. Too many shirts and ties to be picked up.
As one day she was working, She heard them say, your fighting a battle. In reality she had chaos in her mind. If she felt she was having a tough life, she heard others stories that were in a bigger mess.
Here she was a lady who played many roles in chaos. She was a mother, a wife, a housewife, a daughter, a daughter in law, a sister-in-law, and a friend too others. In reality her role had become more chaotic because she worked, then came home than made dinner, Then she tought of giving her exam. She thought of teaching dance aerobics style, she thought of reading books with her friend, she thought of selling makeup, she thought of writing poetry and short stories. She thought of writing her novel.
In reality, she had started doing these things. In which she had no prior education, classes, certificates or teachings in. She started doing it for the love and passion. Only her mind had become chaos, She knew she could only be successful in one thing. But she wanted to somehow aim for all. One of her friends told her, that there are five things you can do.
She wanted to live this chaos, in fire with all her emotions. to forget what she had lost, her confidance, She wanted to bring out her passion with all her hidden emotions, which she showed to no one. She wanted to bring a smile on her face as she played all the roles of chaos. Even when she worked, she would work without taking breaks. Things were chaos, because, if she worked one job, she was told to do something else. She was sometimes, told do a small job.
In her mind, with all this chaos, she forgot what was important, to take time out for herself. To meditate, and concentrate on nothing but peace. She felt things were chaotic and she had no peace.
But she did it to forget all her emotions.
Vinita Singh
Nov. 21, 2009
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