Emotional Turbulance

written by: Vinita Singh

You realize for a couple of days, your at home. You have that feeling in your stomach. The anxious one. You have a numbness. You stop going outside. Its too cold anyway. Its snowing. You want to stop doing everything. Its all of a sudden. You know your husband has to go out of town. He has to go to a wedding. You can't go. Your daughter might get sick if she goes in the other country. She is too small anyway. You have a workshop. An exam set up. You've been working hard in it for a year. The anxious feeling of that is there. Then the one of your husband leaving for a couple of days. At least five to seven ads on. Then you remember someone just hitting your car. A muscle spasm before that, with so much chest pain, that you land in the emergency room.
Your studying for your exam has slowed down. Your just starting to feel better. Even your Parents are in India. Its a couple of days after your birthday. Your trying to feel better. You go for dinner and get your favorite shake.

A few days later. Suddenly you get a phone call. You don't pick up. You don't even hear the ring. Your half asleep. Your husband comes in and says the phone call is from India. You then pick it up. Your trying to call back. The phone rings again. Its your mom. Then she gives you the news. You wish you hadn't picked up the phone. You scream, Oh my god! Oh my god! Your husband comes in and talks to your mom. The next few days you spend crying. You get that big anxious feeling in your stomach staying. You feel like you just want to run. You learned that your relative has passed away. A close relative. Someone close to you.
At the other side, after reaching India, your husband calls about his sisters wedding. On the other side, People are crying when you call and speak. Both the happy and sad are at the same time.
Its emotional turbulance. Your kind of numb. You stay at home, and try to rest but you can't. You realize this is life.
You want to start running and exercising a lot. You just don't have the energy. You start back in reality, get ready to still go to the workshop. Your mood is numb.
You don't know who to talk to because no one is outside. Not a soul. It feels dark. Its empty because your husband is not there. You slowly get back out after three or four days, but your still crying. The emotional turbulance is because, you exist, but you don't know what is on the other side. What really happens, when the person who died has gone. Its just you'll never see them again.
Vinita Singh
Feb. 18, 2010

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